i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
