It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
