oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
