I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Randomize