I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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