How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
