My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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