He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my being single is dangerous.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
