i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
