I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Randomize
