just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
