Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
