How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
