So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
