Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Randomize
