I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
