If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
