me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
