ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
