I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
home. puking in laundry basket.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
