I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
