Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
