When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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