I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
