why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
