How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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