Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
