Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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