hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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