And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
