This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
What a dumb baby whore.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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