Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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