We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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