Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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