you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
