i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
