I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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