omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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