Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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