I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
