Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
