member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
