I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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