apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We had to coat check the pizza.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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