Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
