I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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