people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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