So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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