So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
