So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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