I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just blew my weed a kiss
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
