WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Randomize
