I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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