As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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