i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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