Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
