That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She's not a foreskin expert like you
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
